


Dave: Give your boyfriend candy.

by LadyNight95



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I am so late with this, M/M, This Is STUPID, just shoot me gaiz, trickster!John - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNight95/pseuds/LadyNight95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dave Strider, and you are currently naked and tied to John Egbert’s bed. 	</p>
<p>Wait, wait.</p>
<p>Perhaps you need to explain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave: Give your boyfriend candy.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a lazy fucker.

==> Be the coolkid.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are currently naked and tied to John Egbert’s bed. 

Wait, wait.

Perhaps you need to explain.

==> Explain.

It all started with John’s curious… disease, if you could call it that. You didn’t love him any different, of course (What kind of cool and ironic boyfriend would you be if you did?), but it certainly was strange, and a bit on the irritating side. You didn’t know why candy was such a goddamn issue for him. That shit was perfectly normal, aside from the copious amounts of sugar. But when John ate it… things just kind of happened. 

The symptoms would start to kick in even after one piece. He would go from loveable, prankster asshole to sugar-sweet moe moe cutie. It was fucking weird. Then, after a couple more, you swore his hair started getting lighter. When he eventually started to get hooked on the stuff, that’s when you took it away, ignoring the bitching and moaning that followed. He rode out the high, and when he had come back down to Earth, you were left with a very hung-over and amnesic John Egderp. It was like drinking for him. Only worse. 

After a while, you learned your fucking lesson and just stopped giving him sweets. That side of John still intrigued you, but then again, so did bleating like a goat, so you just ignored the urge as long as you could. Which, apparently, wasn’t long at all. The curious part of you begged you to let it go all the way once, just once. It wouldn’t be that bad! And when Valentine’s Day came around, you had a perfectly legitimate excuse to laden your boyfriend with candy. 

That’s what you kept telling yourself as you stood at his door, a plastic grocery bag full of goodies on your arm. Yep. Totally legit. If anything really off the handle went on, it would be okay, since his Dad was out wooing Ms. Lalonde somewhere. 

When John opened the door, you flashed a smile, putting on your best ironic moves. “Hey, sweetheart. I brought you something.” You hold up the bag.

John’s blue eyes go wide as he realizes what you’ve brought. “Oh my god, Dave, is that all _candy_?”

“Yup. Happy Valentine’s Day, a.k.a. buy your significant other shit-tons of candy to make them like you more.” He punched you in the arm after that one, and you chuckled. “Oh, and roses too. Something about roses.” You hold out the rose you had been hiding behind your back, and you couldn’t help but grin your widest grin when his face lit up. A tackle-hug followed, and he dragged you inside, continuing to hug you as he put the rose in a vase beside the door with a million others. 

“You are the best boyfriend ever.” He mumbled into your shirt, and you just smirked and kissed him on the forehead. Then, before you could even register its disappearance, John had the candy and was running up the stairs with it, cheering,

“Tricky bastard!” you yelled after him, kicking off your shoes, too lazy to flashstep after him.

“Did I move faster than Dave Strider?” floated down the stairs like verbal fog, laden with feigned surprise. “The world must be ending!” Little pranksterfuck. You were sure his gambit was reeling by now. Your head was reeling as well, nervous about the whole candy thing, but you quickly stuffed those anxious feelings down. Focus, Strider. Coolkids don’t get nervous. 

“Meteors are about to come crashing down, I’m sure of it,” you shot back up the stairs. A weight on your back reminded you that you still had homework to do. “I’ll just stay down here, Egbert. I’m excited for the Valentine’s Day sloppy makeouts and everything, but I have shit to do, and you happen to be particularly distracting.”

“Aww, okay! I’ll just be up here, eating all of this delicious candy! Hehe.”

Damn, his memory loss was bad. He doesn’t even remember the past times he tried to eat the stuff. That, or he chose to ignore the nasty side effects. Wasn’t your problem anymore, though. You would just have to see how it would all work out. Putting on your headphones, you settled and started the history that you hadn’t bothered to finish. Presidents and World Wars should be enough to distract you. And it was, for about an hour or so until you finished. 

That’s when the sickly sweet voice appeared, crawling over your shoulder, giving you goose bumps accompanied by a spine-tingling chill. “Da-ave,” it crooned, and a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders. Was that possessiveness you sensed? Maybe. You couldn’t tell. Holy fuck you were almost losing it, but you forced yourself to keep calm and not totally lose your shit. “Are you done yet?”

You swallow, and your next sentence comes out almost hoarse. “Yeah, I just got done.” You were about _pissing your pants_ right now. John’s voice had just reached a whole fucking new level of creepy, and you were sincerely afraid to turn around, terrified of what he’ll look like now that he’s officially at the peak of his sugar high. Tilting your head back, you look up at his face, into those deep blue eyes…

…and the golden blonde hair surrounding it.

You proceed to lose your cool in the most obnoxious way possible. Spluttering, you move yourself to the far side of the couch, thinking of the shitty horror movies you had watched and trying to figure out how they exorcised demons. Because John Egbert was obviously _fucking possessed_. This was unnatural, and as you said, fucking downright creepy. He had that usual grin of his, but there was something almost… feral about it. And it turned you on in way unimaginable. 

God you were such a twisted bastard. 

John let loose this high-pitched giggle, and it brought you out of your little freak-out moment. “It’s just me, Dave!” At that time, you also noticed a lollipop stuck in his hair. Huh. Wonder how he got it stuck there. Taking a deep breath, you motioned him to you, and he ran over eagerly like a little puppy, putting his face close to yours. A blush began to crawl over your cheeks, revealing your arousal, and god was it embarrassing. You gently tugged at the piece of candy in his hair to distract you. 

Another giggle. “I think it’s stuck; I couldn’t pull it out!”

Think unsexy thoughts. Your Bro. Smuppets. Their long, phallic oh gog IT WASN’T WORKING. His breath smelled like sugar, and was intoxicating, drawing you in with every exhale. For once, you were at a loss for words. The words flew even further away when he crawled on top of you, straddling your crotch and laying down on your very, very obvious boner. You tried your damnedest to hide the gasp, but he must have caught it, because he started another one of his giggle-fests.

“What’cha thinking about?” he asked in between giggles, leaning in close. 

You decided that kissing him would be the best response. The smell of his breath matched the taste – it was chocolate, strawberry, almost every candy flavor you could think of. His lips mashed against yours eagerly, tongue flicking in to massage yours. He usually wasn’t this forward, but you didn’t mind the change. Nope. You couldn't care less as his hips rocked downward on yours, eliciting sounds from you that were very much feminine. 

It was only when he moved to slide off your shirt that your brain snapped out of it. When it came to the sexy times, you were the conductor, not him. Grabbing his arms, you flipped him over.

Only to be flipped right back under. “Nuh-uh, it’s my turn,” he chirped in your ear, bringing back that spine-tingling sensation. Perhaps you could relinquish control for today. Just for today. Wasn’t like John was going to remember your fetish for this or anything. 

That’s what drove your reply, which you whispered right back in his ear. “Then take it.”

A press on the neck later, and you were unconscious.

==> Wake up.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are currently naked (sunglasses and everything) and tied to John Egbert’s bed.

Not that you’re complaining. You hadn’t expected anything less when you struggled into consciousness. Your thoughts were a mix of _holy fucking shit_ and _hell fucking YES._ The arousal came running right back when trickster-John (lamest title ever, you couldn’t give two shits though) appeared by your side, all giggles and crazy smiles. He was still clothed, which did not make you happy. You began to open your mouth to say something in protest of this, but he shushed you, delicately putting one finger to your lips.

“No talking,” he sang, quickly bringing you in for a small kiss, and you knew you had no choice but to comply. No telling what John would do if you actually did try to talk. Probably something extremely kinky and painful. 

Probably almost as painful as your raging boner, you theorized as he sat down on your lap and broke a piece off the chocolate bar in his hand. Oh _hell no_ , he was not going to play this game! Then you remembered – you didn’t have a fucking say in the matter. So you played right back, eating the bits of the chocolate he fed you in the sexiest way possible, boring your red eyes right into his blue ones. Something inside his sugar induced state snapped after the first five pieces. The giggles stopped for a moment as he pulled all his clothing off, (you couldn’t help but notice his really, really nice body) and then they came right back as he kissed you, hands running down your sides, nails dragging slightly.

The most embarrassing whimper crawled out of your mouth, and John’s giggles spiked in pitch, then crawled down back to a hum as he dragged his tongue across one of your nipples, nipping at it, drawing breathy gasps. He continued to move farther down, until he was placing kisses straight on your cock. Your back arched, and you could feel your wrists strain against their bonds. Was this what dying and going to heaven was like? 

It definitely was when John wrapped his lips around your dick and began to take it into his mouth. You sang like a songbird, an incoherent cry that would put the Strider name to shame. He bobbed his head up and down, sending shivers up your spine and down to your toes, driving you _absolutely crazy._ “Holy fuck, John,” you whispered under your breath, and he just replied with a giggle and a swipe of his tongue against the tip of your dick, sending you right back to the land of incoherency. 

His mouth continued to bob up and down, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. His hands were busy with his own hard-on as he worked you, and it made this even sexier than it already was. As your hips began to thrust, he began to pick up the pace, shallowly moving you in and out, his hand quickening pace as well. When your cries reached a peak, he sucked hard on the tip, throatily humming, striking blue eyes locked with yours. You screamed his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear as you climaxed, spurting your cum into his mouth and seeing stars as you rode it out. A few seconds later, and his cum was splashed onto your chest. He lay beside you, panting for breath. 

When your vision finally cleared, you looked over at John, and jumped when you saw that his hair was back to normal. Oh _fuck_ , this was NOT supposed to happen. His head turned towards yours, blue eyes wide and fuzzy as he took in the scene. 

You weren’t expecting his reply. “That was fucking _awesome_.”

You were silent for a few seconds. “Surprised that you actually remember, Egderp,” you replied, and then added with a smile, “But yeah, that was pretty awesome.”

He smiled back, sitting up and looking at your wrists again. His smile turned into a shit-eating grin. “So the ever dominant Strider has a submission fetish?” he asked, moving to undo your wrists. 

“Fuck you, Egbert, you’re the one who gets creepy and dominant whenever you touch a fucking piece of candy!” you shot back, and he just laughed, a musical sound. You just couldn’t stay angry when you were confronted with that laugh. Once you were free, you collapsed onto the pillows, too lazy to go and clean yourself up just yet. He laid down beside you and took your hand, kissing you on the cheek and laying his head next to yours.

“Want to do that again sometime?” he whispered in your ear after a few minutes, nipping at it a bit.

Your answer was obvious. “Hell fucking yes.”

John laughed again, burying his face into your hair. 

“I love you.”

It took John a couple seconds to register what you had said, since he was usually the one who said it first. But then you felt his face light up into a blinding smile on your head.

“I love you too, Dave. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

You chuckled. 

Yeah. 

Happy Valentine’s Day indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they showered together.


End file.
